Wow. I was very glad to see Friday.
Sunday last week I entered a bit of a vortex.
If you had asked me what I thought about the event, I would have shrugged. When *it* became a reality, I found myself on the edge of devastated…and knowing at the same time that my reaction was “not appropriate” to the situation. Despite that… you know, one still gets to deal with all those “Inappropriate” emotions.
I had a lot of support from my Coach, my Massage guy (of all people right?) my Boss, the CEO and the entire hospital really. Oddly, that didn’t help. Time has helped somewhat. No one actually knows why I was so miserable…and it’s best that way as well.
I am still processing and learning how I can handle this situation in the best, most positive way…but I think I am now moving through it…I know that at least for the next year or two this will crop up into a new incarnation as the situation progresses. So, it’s in my best interest to find some more positive way to deal with it. I suspect it will be trial and error.
I had a very good brick workout today. It was Saturday’s workout as I have something else to do on Saturday. I cycled and ran. I saw the same man I had seen on Monday at the gym. He is super friendly, and to me, he is quite handsome. I just have no idea why he has suddenly decided to chat with me. I’m glad though, I mean it always helps to have someone be pleasant at 5:45 am, right? I think he’d be shocked to know how much his little comments have helped me. Never doubt that a positive statement can not make a difference. I’ve been trying to say them more often, since my experience. I was particularly miserable on Monday morning…and his cheerful statement…completely turned my day around. Today was just a total and utter surprise/bonus, as I was already feeling slightly better.
So. At work today my Massage Therapist starts texting me motivational images. We have become pals. I’m of course good business for him, have referred him many many people. I was really happy to see that. He totally made me smile. We texted back and forth as I took care of office stuff, started to again fret about validation. He was a pleasant distraction. the worry though is persistent.
I noted that my TFL wasn’t so happy. So I hit the gym for a visit with my front desk pal, and the foam roller. I know I was hoping to see my coach, and I know he was there, but I didn’t see him (I think he was dictating stuff). I really didn’t have any burning questions, so I decided not to go and pester him.
Moving through. Gotta say…I know I’ll be tougher when this is done. I hope that I recover sufficiently to really engage the speed work next week, if coach gives it to me. I did arms and abs last night and every time I looked up, he was trained on me. good and bad, but I know he was deciding what I need to do next week. I just want to win and feel content…happiness is fleeting but contentment…worth a lot.