Training and the Blues.
I truly wish this was a post about Training and the Blues…
But it’s more about…
Now…It isn’t any secret that I’ve had an inordinate, unprecedented amount of stress at work. A personal event occurred this weekend that should have made me happy, but seems to have plunged me into a bit of misery. It’s a little bit odd. I have had so much on my work plate that I have gotten to where I do not care. I get the work done, but I just feel nothing about it. This personal event tipped me over the edge. I have not made it through one day since without a few tears. Ahhh. Agreeing with the man in the TED talk above…I know that my reaction to this personal event is entirely RIDICULOUS, but I’m having the reaction anyway…so now..As I have said before, the only way out is through…One very strange thing is that I’m markedly different at work. Everyone from the dietary staff to the CEO have mentioned it. They are assuming it is from the work stressors, which not inconsequential. Only one person, a physician whom I really enjoy working with finally looked at me today and said, “something is wrong outside of work…” He’s so great in that he said that and then said he hoped it got better. No prying or trying to fix it. I can’t even write about it, it’s that ridiculous. I’m a little bit grateful for having the intense work issue to hide behind as I process my own ridiculous reaction to something more appropriate.
So…. Training. WOW, it’s really hard to train this way. Sleep is totally disturbed. Without good rest, my body seems to be prone to DOMS, and in general a feeling of FOG. I’m doing all the training, so far this week 11 running miles, and some swim and spin miles. Times are not too off, but…something feels like a desperate struggle.
Saw the coach yesterday. We ate like a gallon of blueberries….oye blueberry season in Florida is Awesome! He seems nervous and told me he was worried that my training week was too heavy…whereas I felt it looked a little light…So confusion there. He’s a good man, but he has his own life going on, so he surely can’t sit by and hold my hand though God knows he tries and I soak up every bit of it. We had a good talk about where I’m headed, and God and meditation. None of it really hit home, probably cause I’m so foggy…I got right home and abruptly sent him an email begging him not to lighten it…predictably, he read it I know but didn’t respond. He’s the coach, not me. I’ll do what he says.
I googled and Wow…I can find a lot of stuff about how exercise treats depression..but not much about how to train through a depressive period. I sure want to WIN. The shock will eventually wear off, but this is one of those things that will not go away or leave…not something for me to tolerate for a week or two. SO…we’ll just have to see how I go along.