The rest of the Week.
Wow what a CRAZY week.
by Tuesday I was having major problems with fatigue and continuing myalgias. I attempted my workouts and they were AWFUL. So I went and had a consultation with my coach…and another guy at the gym who I hoped had dealt with this before.
The Gym guy helped me with some basic advice on how to heal. Gave me some interesting dietary advice, which I actually have followed. He’s an interesting person in that occasionally he can be a putz, but Tuesday he was ready to help, though in quite a rush.
My Coach is a super fantastic guy. He told me to stop. I actually felt for the first time EVER that I had disappointed him. It was not a good feeling at all, though I think he’d argue that I didn’t. I told him I was sure there was a lesson in this, but frankly I had not gotten still enough since it happened to really get the lesson. He said good, find it and let me know what it was. He probably didn’t mean this, but it came out a bit like a command. We discussed in about 2 minutes the typical lessons (Pride goeth before a fall, and the tendency to try to lone ranger things- do them without leaning on God…) Neither of those made perfect sense. I have not been at Meeting in probably a month, and I’ve let life get busy, so I had to finally make some time to really be in the waiting worship..
Here is an explanation from George Fox
“And all you that are in your own wisdom, and in your own reason, tell you of silent waiting upon God, that is famine to you; it is a strange life to you to come to be silent, you must come into a new
world. Now thou must die in the silence, to the fleshly wisdom, knowledge, reason, and understanding; so thou comest to feel that which brings thee to wait upon God; (thou must die from the other,) that brings thee to feel the power of an endless life, and come to possess it.
And in the silent waiting upon God thou comest to receive the wisdom from above, by which all things were made and created; and it gives an understanding and a reason, which distinguisheth from the beast. And the life of God in thee, which brings to wait upon God, which gives thee life, brings to know God; and to know God and Jesus Christ is life eternal. And to you this is the word of the Lord God.”
(An Epistle to all People on the Earth; etc, George Fox, 1657, Doctrinals, p101-2)
Now that is written in very dense language.
In more updated language:
hat part of that response is to become still and attentive, so that we can hear Christ’s voice and receive his teaching, but that does not mean that silent worship is a technique that either demands or even guarantees God’s attention.
Our part in worship is to be still, to be sure, so that we can hear and listen, but also that as we follow Christ’s Light, that part of us that is not of God can die in the silence, so that we may go on to experience spiritual rebirth. So we wait upon the Lord to bless us with his Presence, Power and his Teaching, and to be inwardly transformed. This is why Quakers sometime describe our worship as ‘Waiting Worship’. This is the essential part of our journey into spiritual Death and Rebirth, and we start from that inward call to Wait upon God.
Here is information on where I got this from…
I left the gym feeling rather confused. I felt like nothing was making sense, and there was that odd buzzy feeling of non-reality going through my head.
So, I took Wednesday off. Woke up late, slept loads. Had a good 1-3 hours to really get still and quiet. This verse came to mind.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your interests, but also to the interests of others.
This is a verse that is very familiar to me, not because I’ve walked around all my life being conceited. But one of my Mottos from ages ago is “When in doubt, focus out”. There is more to the story. but I’ll leave it at all. I learned my lesson. I had become really wrapped up in the race, and some of the things with it. I think God just reminded me that any of my running/racing really needs to be for the good of others, and not for some dumb piece of trinket or a time.
Once I heard the message I was really kind of embarrassed and humbled. I actually did not want to communicate it to the coach at all. So I bit the email bullet and sent it off. I got a message back this morning saying “God is a great counselor” Indeed.
Today I started to feel loads better in the legs. So I went and asked permission to run. Permission given and I had a nice 3 mile easy jog.
I didn’t want to bug him at work again so I just gave him a large thumbs up…and left. Then I realized, I have no idea what to do with myself. Do I go back to the regular plan? Do I do nothing. So I had to send the poor man ANOTHER email. Well, better than interrupting his clients again…
I’m actually really tired as I type this…probably will edit, but yes, it would appear I am on the mend…I am deeply relieved, and a bit humbled.