Bob the Builder.
This was a tough week.
Well, that would be the goal. In addition to this goal, is a big lesson…. Trusting in the unseen.
Heb 11:1 Now faith means that we are confident of what we hope for, convinced of what we do not see.
This is something that I rather struggle with. I’ve had some moments where I felt I could see evidence of God working through events in my life. Enough that my faith is strong. What I often lack, however, is this trust that God will “come through” for me, if you know what I mean? It’s easy for me to look back, but looking forward…I don’t doubt that God can be with me/be there in the storm with me etc, but at the same time I kind of find myself hoping and praying, “God be with me”. It’s a funny position.
I’m training in a different way than a lot of people. It seems most people kind of train to run loads and loads of races…whereas, I really pick one race and devote the entire training to that day, with hopes that the coach and I get it right to peak on race day or close to it. I do these hard weeks, and then….generally 1-2 weeks of rest before a race, my training really tapers off, and my legs return, and WOW do they return. I am usually faster than ever. Thing is, there is no guarantee. Sometimes, like my May Marathon, my legs kind of returned, but they were not entirely rested. So it’s always hard to tell. I got a little overtrained in May…having never trained that hard, I didn’t recognize it…I thought it was just me being lazy and tried to push push push through it. Oops. Lucky for me, I am not having these feelings this time around. That would be because the ramp is not as severe.
So these days I’m a wee bit slow. When I do speed work, I see some speed punching through, but I can’t tell if it’s a fluke or if I am getting faster. At this point, I need to just trust the coach, who I know trusts in God…I will get faster, maybe not as fast as I want, but faster.
SO this week….a Build week.
All of my Swims were well over a mile. I started to just feel water logged, and actually VERY very tired from the swims, which is not my usual feeling after a swim. Swim days still look like easy days to me because I’m not on my legs, but still…they are timed and I push to reach goals. I still have my Transition Tuesdays and they remain a highlight.
On Thursday I did a new/old workout. (in other words, I’ve done it before, but not in ages) the 2 mile repeats. I really thought I’d be fine with it, actually in my mind, I thought it might be easier than the 800’s. Oh yeah, right. I am really BAD at pacing. I ran the first 2 miler at an OK pace overall, but the way it was done was incorrect. Instead I started out running a pace more suited for 800’s managed to keep that up for like 0.78 of a mile then having to walk, then start to run again. UGH.
Thanks to Mommy Run Fast’s blog for this image. Check her out HERE. Speed work is SO important, it just is kind of hard to do…It’s kind of a tough workout no matter what. No matter what pace you are running speed work, when done correctly to challenge YOU, you are going to frankly FEEL LOUSY. You are pushing yourself closer to your max- max muscle engagement, use and oxygen consumption…It is not a comfortable feeling. If it is comfortable, well…you aren’t really working hard enough!
I struggled through 9 miles of this….then showered and headed in to work…OMG work was so long. and I find that I’m deep into build which means, my patience…with people is a wee bit thin. I mean, I just ran 9 very fast miles and then at work, I’m dealing with someone who can’t manage to remember to wash their hands. Yeah…I have had to bite my tongue quite a bit…Being tired, things become very clear to me and I occasionally have to really stop and decide if I want to make an issue out of something or not. On Friday I reminded a nurse’s aide that she had entered an isolation room without gowning. I thought I was pretty nice about it. After about 15 minutes she came around the corner trembling… “Am I in trouble?” Nah…she totally wasn’t. When I corrected her she was entirely apologetic, and I had seen her enter the room in response to a loud noise…so I think her primary concern was the patient, not avoiding the inconvenience of gowning. But oops. I thought I was nice, guess I am a bit scary!
Friday was a long swim.
On Saturday I did an hour cycle and a Seven mile run…
By the time I was done, I was really done. My second workout of the day was Bathing the wonder dog….and removing multiple ticks from him. He rolled in some very tall grass and wow it must have been coated in ticks and their offspring. So all week I’ve been removing, spraying, washing. Teulu hates baths. By the time we were finished, we were both exhausted.
My long run today was unusual…
About 2-3 miles into it I started to have a whole lot of mental chatter. It went like this… “why am I doing this? I don’t need to run 19 miles to be fit. I’m probably not going to have a good marathon time anyway, I could be asleep. Normal people are asleep. i could just run 4-6 miles to be fit, like normal people….I’m not good at this, I should go home.” It was SO negative. Now experts say you should combat negative thoughts with positive ones…right? Well, I was too tired for all that jazz. I felt a little forlorn but kept running. The thoughts kind of sat in my head. Mentally I kind of shrugged my shoulders. I was kind of like, ok…and I continued running. By mile 5-6…the thoughts had disappeared entirely, replaced by my normal long run thoughts- which involved putting the puzzle pieces of a long run together. I was surprised that benign neglect seemed to work for me.
The run itself was not stellar, but it was solid. I ran a few tenths extra and was VERY glad to be done. Since it is so warm still, I sweated loads and the wet clothing chaffed me something awful…. I can not even explain the pain I am not experiencing.
After today’s run I feel fatigued, but OK. I think I may do “ok” in December!!!