Tomorrow is Monday.
One day before the BIG MRI.
Did I get healed?
Hard to tell.
I’ve been feeling a bit sick and also rushed for time this past week. Most of my exercise has been heavy on the Cardio rather than the weights.
Possibly not related…this morning when I awoke, I noted that the odd rubber band sensation seems to have returned. Not around my toes, just under my toes. So imagine the bottom half of the toes feel as if a rubber band is wrapped around them, but the tops feel OK.
So… all day today there has been a bit of an under current of TOTAL AND ABJECT TERROR…
I mean… it’s not noticeable, and I don’t have pain (good thing), so no one can see my distress. It also might mean something or nothing,
And on top of it all, it is very very annoying.
Tomorrow, is a run day if I’m not still coughing so much…and a train the new gal day….We’ll see how that all goes…
Good thoughts and Prayers for this injury coveted.
So I think when I do my MRI next week, i shall discover that indeed I have some damage in there but nothing surgical.
I got Healed from something that wasn’t supposed to heal which is pretty cool.
Now. It wasn’t like this:
It was a gradual healing. I think it was more from God than the video healing which I think is a fake.
It’s pretty cool. I have been able to run a little, swim more, and cycle some. In fact, I am now starting to have problems adjusting my workouts and work….which I knew was going to be a real disaster. I can figure it out and since I’m just getting able to function again it’s a good way to adjust.
Unfortunately as I was starting to get going I caught a virus. Several people in the office have been snuffling around. Some particularly loudly.
I felt a bit uncomfortable with all the snuffling….but I was in my own cubie so I thought I was safe. I WAS NOT!!!!! UGH. Snuffly nose, chills, and all over body aches, including my back. At least with a cold…I know that it’s kind of a limited time thing.
4 days till MRI time!!!!
Here is Van Morrison, who I have loved since “discovering” him in college.
Singing “Did you get healed” If you love this song, I would recommend not listening to the interviews with Mr. Morrison on Youtube. He is a true professional musician, As he stated, lots of his albums are not about him personally, and I remember once someone came to him asking if he still had the dogs…he was like what dogs…there were dogs on an album cover, as a photo, and lot of people assumed they were his. He’s a bit more of a salty guy, saying, Heavens the dogs were there as an album picture, not as my pets.
Ok Moving on.
I feel lots better, but at the same time I’m not able to do somethings. I am also horribly out of shape, so it’s super hard to know if I’m out of shape and can’t do it, or if the injury is preventing me.
This week, I’ve been able to cough. When I did it, is was as natural as daylight. Then I was shocked. I had not been coughing for a long time because of the pain, SO…something is better.
But oh this DRAGGING oneself back into shape. Is a real drag
This image from another great exercise blog, check it out here.
This week I’ve been doing “real workouts” At least in my mind they were. I kind of rolled my eyes at myself. This is what I did that I considered a “real workout” a 2 mile run, an admittedly longer strength and weights session and a 1300 meter swim. I was tired out. Exhausted. BUT if I had done that in October, it would have been as easy peasy day.
The stuff I can do is greatly longer now than the stuff I can’t do.
In fact there is not reason to make a list.
I can’t do some yoga poses. No crises.
I can’t lay on my right side for sleeping, this is annoying, but I can live.
I can’t run well…..this is the sticking point. We’ll hope for the best.
Yesterday I probably totally totally overdid it.
I got up in the early morning with the idea of running and then swimming. BUT…I still seem to be moving as slow as molasses in the morning.
DJ shadow makes Molasses cookies for your viewing pleasure.
SO I got there in time for ONE of the workouts.
I got the 2 miles in at a bit of a faster clip than the last time. I’m going to be stuck at 2 miles every other day for a while.
I noted the time and knew I really didn’t have enough swim time, so I attempted to do some strength work, I think I ended up with 1 set of biceps and presses, 1 plank, and some of the myrtl routine.
Then off to work, and then BACK to the gym.
I hopped on the cycle, but before I could do that, I was overwhelmed by the lovely feeling of belonging to the gym. I ran into my friend Kathy and her husband Dave and we chatted for a few, then I was accosted by my back injury buddy Jim, who said, “I’m watching you, you are doing some crazy stuff…” We all chatted for a bit, and I eventually got my 10 minutes of cycle warm up in. Then I did do a short strength workout, in the middle of which Dave came by again to ask about how my back had improved. He also has back issues (I am sensing a theme eh) and so we talked about them for a bit and encouraged each other to keep fighting the good fight.
One thing that was interesting to discover is that he holds the same philosophy… USE THE BODY up.
I am all for taking care of the body, but this sitting around “being careful” is really just crap. So the conversation was great to have, though I admit, suddenly my time in the strengthening session stretched way out.
After because of the impending cold front, I hit the pool. Dang the temp was already dropping so I got in a short swim and hit the hot showers.
This morning they have closed the pool. Too big and the heaters can’t heat it to even 75. But hopefully by the evening…
I suspect I will still have surgery but I am putting it off until March or even the first week in April. I spoke with the MD office FINALLY yesterday. They promised to put an order in for my MRI which I have yet to see. BUT….
Lately my life seems to be returning to me piece by piece.
On Sunday I took a Les Mills Class. Bodyflow. Les Mills is an interesting concept. It’s a set of classes that change every 90 days. I’ve done the Body Pump before and that class is fantastic. I was less excited by Body Flow. It’s low impact and not too difficult actually. That said there was a Yoga portion of the class that I found quite challenging. My back doesn’t allow for such things. I did the class with a friend and it was nice to see her again.
I also think I am not totally fond of group fitness. I feel like we are all trying and also all comparing.
After that I hit the pool for some laps. It was a super nice day. The swimming was enjoyable.
Monday Was pretty great. I actually went to the pool in the morning, and swim a short workout. That made my day go better overall, so I need to try to keep doing that.
In the evening, I ran again. 2.0 miles slowly on the Treadmill. The GYM is FULL to the breaking point. I do not remember it ever being that crowded. We’ll see how long it lasts. I continue my stupid need to tell the world I am injured, not a January-ist. After the TM, I did a modified shorter workout, about 7 instead of the 10-12 exercises I normally am doing these days. I wasn’t feeling super strong and I had some pain issues, so after a second set of step ups.
I quit and went to ice my back. I wanted to talk to the coach too because it had been SO long since I had. I said hi to him and he gave me kind of an awkward smile. I wasn’t sure about it, so I iced, contemplated what that smile meant…. You know the whole “What did he mean when she/he said, looked at me like that/etc
When I finished I decided to just ask about wether massage was an option at this point. I asked if I could ask a question and he looked tense. But then I said, do you think I can get a massage? And he relaxed, he had about a 30 minute conversation, all the while he was working with a delightful lady who I enjoyed meeting as well. He doesn’t want to start me on a training plan yet (ha ha ha) because I can barely run and technically I am still having surgery. But of course we both agreed that this healing even not at 100% is a freaking miracle.
Maybe the Catholic Church would not certify it as a miracle…but I know that the surgeons were thinking this looked surgical, and yet I have improved….
Today… I got my massage… not so sure that was the brightest idea.
I also managed a 25 minute cycle on the stationary. Still moving forwards as best I can…
I wake up each day feeling like I am at least 75 years older than I am.
I really regret that today because the night before I wanted to do Lucky’s Lake swim. I tried to get into my wet suit, but it really either didn’t fit anymore (which would be odd) or because of the injury to my spine, i am not longer able to pull it on without risking reinjuring. SO discouraged by the wet suit lack, and my aches and pains I decided to sit on the couch and have coffee. Later I learned the water temp was pretty good, and I regretted it yet again.
I had an appointment to go look at homes today and so that then took up a lot of my time. I am just amazed at the HOA fees. The home itself is affordable, but the HOA fees, are kind of insane.
Anyway after reflection on the massive HOA fees, I went to the gym.
I RAN. 1.7 miles. It was pretty nice. Very very slow and I had some problems on the last 10th…my body is weak and my HR goes crazy with running, I also for whatever reason, drank a lot of coffee today….
I really enjoyed it.
After I was able to do a little strength session. I am always surrounded by these fit people and feel so just flabby and out of shape. It is January, and well, everyone assumes I am a Resolutioner. That this is the year I finally “get in shape”
I know I should not care what others think, but indeed, I do care. I take every opportunity to tell anyone who will listen that I’m hurt, injured, and recovering. Funny thing though, it does make a difference. I’ve had some buff guys look at me like I was in their way, when they overhear me tell someone, “Yes I’m improving from my injury” they give me this look of respect. Kind of crazy.
Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised at some of the improvements I could see in my workout.
I also hit the pool for 1200 meter.
This evening I have this idea that the rubber band sensation around the toes.
is reduced some more. We will see…
We will see.
I do want to email the coach immediately, but…for whatever reason I’m playing it cool. He is new baby life full. I saw him on Friday watching me working out. He left before I was done and didn’t come over to say hi, so I felt a little “left out in the cold” even though more likely he just wanted to get home to the baby. Stopping to talk to someone can take a long time (I love to chat). I think I’ll talk to him when I have some definite news. I miss him, and I miss training. But I am encouraged daily. I think this long delay for surgery that really pissed me off may actually be a huge blessing in allowing me to avoid the surgery… Who knows.
Happy New Year.
The day started out kind of poorly. I intended to visit a state park, and oddly my map on my GPS took me to the middle of an “over 55 active” community in the middle of Haines City Florida. it was a bit of insanity.
We eventually got to the park, but to be frank, I saw actually more wildlife in the housing development than what was at the park, so Blech. (Seriously at the development I saw Ibis, Storks, Sandhills and an alligator. at the park, i saw a mosquito and lots of tracks.) I used GPS so was sure to walk a mile at the park, but then it was Such a horrid little park I just went home. Several hours later, I realized I was feeling OK, so…
I leashed up the dog and went for another run/walk/run experience.
It felt like this, and the Dog looked like this, but I think I looked more like someone doing a shuffle walk. Regardless. I got pretty sweaty and my HR soared. By the time I was done with the piddling 1.6 miles, I actually felt accomplished.
On Monday or Tuesday I was swimming, and noted that my foot seemed to finally FINALLY have the rubber band sensation decrease.
Other than the pain, the particular compromise to my toes was super annoying. I literally felt as if someone had wrapped a rubber band around my toes. With this sensation, there was always a message going to my brain saying, “Remove the rubber bands” Very annoying. I still have altered sensation, but it is not that tight rubber band sensation. I no longer have a constant message buzzing in the back of my head about removing anything from the toes. I was hesitant, but after today I decided that this really is an improvement, wahoo.
So Here’s hoping this is no longer surgical.
Well… sort of not really.
Yesterday a friend tagged a lot of us on Facebook and invited all of us to a Yoga session at the gym to get started on our New Years Resolutions. I was all like sure, why not, not my New Year Resolution, but I know it is one for many and I like to support friends, and I admit, the particular pal who invited us all is not at all fit and so I thought, if she can do this, I can too, even with a massive herniated disk. This morning when I awoke I noted as I walked the dog, that my big toe on my numb foot had changed sensation. It was definitely more painful than the night before, but not horrific.
I rested a bit and invited yet another friend. Then, the original inviter cancelled, and my friend said “your town seems far away” and I thus remembering the pain in my toe, attempted to cancel too. BUT…at 9 am I got a text from the last remaining friend saying, “I’m on my way” So…i jumped up and donned yoga type clothing….and rushed over to the gym arriving at 9:25 just in time for POWER YOGA.
I dutifully informed the instructor that my back is rather messed up, and that I might not be doing a lot of the session. She was a sub and as all yoga instructors, very chipper and encouraging and all about modifications.
Since the instructor was a sub, she was not as confident as a regular instructor which may have actually made things worse for me, as she was not familiar with any students, so no one really knew what would happen next.
I have to be honest, this level of class was really for people who actually regularly practice Yoga. Not my friend or myself. I have not done this stuff for years, and she is very out of shape. My fitness helped me to maintain some things, where she could not, but in reality, I could not follow a lot of the sequences, and So many modifications had to be made for my back that I think I ended up doing a different class than the rest of the class.
My friend gets the giggles, which is really not appropriate in this kind of a class so I had to avoid eye contact.
So…end result, 6 hours later my hamstrings ACHE. My ankles feel miserable. My shins even hurt. I got a nice workout and stretch though I don’t think I’ll be trying power Yoga again soon.
After this, I had a coffee and a chat with my pal and then hit the pool for a quick swim.
Not too hopeful at this point about avoiding surgery…
I don’t know why exactly.
I was jealous of my sister heading to my parent’s house today. As I watched the photos of the long drive tick by and saw then more photos of my nephews enjoying the house and my parents, i felt kind of left out. Luckily when I ran into my friends Cindy and Cindy (yes seriously) at the gym and talked a bit about it, I remembered that last Christmas with the family was AWFUL! I did not enjoy it. SO. that brightened me up a bit. A quiet holiday – with a day off in the middle of the week is nice.
Dealing with the family, especially my sister, NOT nice. SO…this is fine.
It’s unseasonably warm here.
So that sort of seemed to hit me wrong but to be honest I think it is the elephant in the room and the confusion I am having regarding my injury and possible surgery. I feel it’s out of my control, and really I need to do a few things to get back into control with that.
On the plus side… I was able to swim a little over half mile today with no ill effects. I treaded some water, but had to do that a bit carefully. If I get going too vigorously I have pain issues.
I saw the coach and he and I were testy with each other. He knows I’m weepy, and he wants me to suck it up. I’m very tired of sucking it up. Plus I am feeling the elephantine question of how this will all play out. He, on the other hand, has his hands full of new baby. I could even be a touch jealous of that little bundle of joy, though I don’t feel that…I feel like it’s hard for him to see what I’m going through because he is just so full of joy right now.
Other plus side, I randomly saw my favorite lifeguard today. He’s the morning lifeguard,and is just a very personable and genuine guy. I got to meet his wife which was awesome. He has offered to kayak for me for the 8 mile swim if I can do it, and I especially wanted it not to be weird with his wife, she seems much more normal than other wives, and I liked her immediately. So if I can get strong…
I woke up with what I think was pretty good sensation in my right foot.
stuck around my toes seems to be decreased. BUT I am also really analyzing each sensation for possible recovery.
My body is still sore from Saturday’s excitement.
In addition, I seem to have a bit of the “Holiday Blues”
I really didn’t make any plans this year because I was going to be running my marathon on the 28th. It was kind of a big Christmas gift to me. As it turned out I also do not have a load of time off because of the lack of PTO days. So…for whatever reason, I did start to feel a little bit alone this year. No Family around, my awesome friends are surrounded by their families, No marathon…and I’m injured in kind of an unpredictable way. It’s super dark of course, and I’m sleepy a lot of the time.
I think it’s the combination of everything. Ah well. This too shall pass. I think.
ELEPHANT in the room type of concern is that I seem to be a ticking time bomb. I get better, get strong, and get hurt. In an endless cycle. Each hurt seems worse than the last. So hard to know what to do. It’s kind of in the back of my head all the time and I’m in a debate about how to actually live my life. I need to run, but…it seems to be really hurting me.
I was able to use the Elliptical today. Again after 10 minutes on the contraption, I was almost sweating and my HR was up to 130. Amazing how weak I am now.
I also did 6 strengthening exercises, 3 rounds of each. I then sat on a block of ice. It was a good thing. I saw my coach, who gave me a nice thank you note from his wife, but we never really talked. He was headed back to do work, and so I just left. I wasn’t in the mood to beg for any attention, though I sure do want some guidance. So I left. Luckily my friend was working and she had a huge bag of hair products for me as my Christmas gift. It’s the traditional gift from her. It did cheer me up a lot. We also made some plans for movies and such.
I did then get a text from coach showing the adorable little girl wearing the silly sunglasses I purchased for them. She looks pretty bad-ass for a 2 week old. :)
Thank Goodness for small children.